Do You Care?
Updated: Jun 5, 2018
In my 20 odd years of working with clients and groups plus my own personal development, I’ve noticed several key areas that are vital for well-being and self-compassion is one of them.
We are rarely taught in schools or by society how to lavish ourselves with copious self-care and kindness. It may be looked upon as selfish or self-centred, or judged in a negative way. Although awareness relating to compassion is definitely increasing, even more compassion directed inwardly is beneficial for well-being.
My definition of self-compassion is: Self-acceptance, kindness towards self, self-respect, openness and self-care. Berating yourself or using negative language towards yourself is harmful, unhelpful and creates constriction in the body. It’s as if the cells of the body get bruised and sore. Aches, pains and over sensitivity may manifest as a result, or the body may feel stuck
or tense and all from something self-inflicted.
There are two elements involved, partly it can be habit, remember awareness is the first step towards changing this pattern. Some of it may be linked to upsets and issues from the past, but either way it can be resolved. The benefits of self-compassion are, quite frankly, limitless!
Typically, I’ve noticed that when people start to demonstrate more self-compassion they have more energy, there is an outward spiral of energy or openness and a willingness to connect with others and they see the world with more compassion and humility.
Science has now proven positive emotions have an effect on the DNA, it literally relaxes the DNA coils!
The first step towards changing negative self-talk is to catch yourself doing it! Then simply flip the sentence around to a positive, supportive and respectful dialogue. Decide to find ways to lavish yourself with copious self-care, the combination of these will set you on the right tracks. Remember, any new skill takes practice!